


I can't see me without us

by slippedandfell



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Polyamory, Threesome - M/M/M, just confused college kids tryna sort out their feelings for each other, no actual smut though sorry, not one of those polyamory fics where a third person is introduced to a couple bc no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 15:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11808831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slippedandfell/pseuds/slippedandfell
Summary: They were inseparable, until they decided to separate.





	I can't see me without us

Childhood friends often grow apart.  
  
It’s the sad reality of growing up in general. We meet new people, develop new interests, and slowly find that we distance ourselves from the past. Even if it means cutting off ties with people that were a part of your past.  
  
However, that impending tragedy seemed to have missed these three childhood friends entirely. How else would one explain the fact that they were still as close as ever, even at university?  
  
It was a kind of thing to marvel at, honestly. A bond so unbreakable that years of drama, romance, and simply unshared interests have not managed to strain their relationships to the point of separation. And no matter how much one tried, they could never develop as close a friendship to these three as they had with each other.  
  
That was the sort of thing only those who’ve gone through all their ups and downs together could vouch for.  
  
There were three of them. It had always been that way. Choi Seungcheol, the oldest and self proclaimed leader, with an authoritative stance on things but a soft spot for people he cherishes. Yoon Jeonghan, the one who seems to like to do things his own way with a bit of an indifferent vibe, but is surprisingly vigilant about the things (and people) that matter to him. And finally Hong Jisoo, the youngest with a gentle demeanor and soft spoken tone, but will speak up about who or what he holds dear.  
  
People sometimes liken them to different elements. Some say they’re like neapolitan ice cream, different flavors that go well together. Others say they’re like the three primary colors, and when they blend together they make masterpieces. The most common title they hold is the golden trio. No other 3 is as strong, as tightly knit as they are, even at university.  
  
And that’s when things began to change.  
  
  
  
Seungcheol prided himself in being the oldest. He claimed he was the most mature as well, but that was up for debate with the other two. However, there’s no mistaking the fact that it was he who noticed the change first.  
  
It started out small. Little things from when they were younger. Things how he noticed the way Jisoo’s bit his bottom lip when he was nervous. The way Jeonghan’s tongue would poke out between his teeth when he was focused. Harmless little tendencies.  
  
Fast forward to high school. He began to notice that Jisoo’s eyebrows furrowed whenever a girl confessed to him. Not necessarily in annoyance, more like confusion. Like he was confused about his own response of “sorry, I’m not interested in dating anybody.” Like he doubted his own words. Or the way Jeonghan’s gaze would linger slightly longer than usual on a boy’s lips as he talked.   
  
University came along and Seungcheol was beginning to wonder why the three of them had never dated. It wasn’t unheard of, but they were all relatively good looking and had received too many love confessions to count. He himself didn’t find any one of them remarkable, so he always apologetically turned them down. But Jeonghan, who spent more time than not shamelessly flirting with the people that talked to him, had yet to accept a confession, or for that matter, confess to anybody. Same with Jisoo.   
  
So he began to wonder if maybe it was _something else._    
  
When he finally decided to talk about it, he realized that the three of them had the same excuse.  
  
_“There’s no need. We’ve done fine all this time without one, right?”_  
  
Further discussion led to the discovery that Jisoo wasn’t interested in girls, and the youngest seemed to accept the fact easily like it didn’t matter to him. Jeonghan seemed quite taken aback by the revelation, given the way he stared at Jisoo the entire time afterwards, even after the subject had changed. Jisoo didn’t seem aware of the piercing gaze of his friend, or if he did he didn’t seem fazed by it.  
  
Of course, Seungcheol noticed it all.   
  
He also noticed the rumors. Silly things like how people didn’t want to try asking them out since they were probably going to be rejected. How the three of them were elite. How they were in their own little bubble.  
  
How they were probably dating _each other._  
  
The last one had made Seungcheol genuinely astounded. Could three individuals not be close without being seen as something more? He understood the nature of the argument, and polyamory certainly wasn’t taboo by his standards, but the fact that people jumped to the assumption unhinged him.  
  
It wasn’t long before the other two caught on as well.  
  
Jeonghan was the first to break the silence. “So apparently people think we’re dating. All three of us. At once.” He said it with an air of detachment, but Seungcheol noticed the way he fiddled with his fingers, almost restlessly.  
  
Jisoo chuckled, but it didn’t come out light and warm like it usually did, more like a dry cough. “I heard the same thing. Funny, isn’t it?”  
  
Seungcheol’s smiles usually came naturally but at the moment it felt like he had to use every bit of his willpower to keep it going. “Yeah, people sure are strange. They come up with the weirdest theories.”  
  
The air was fluctuating into something thick and uncomfortable. Jisoo shifted on his feet, biting his bottom lip. Jeonghan’s lips were pressed into a thin smile.   
  
An awful idea suddenly decided to intrude upon Seungcheol’s mild thoughts. It referred to itself as a solution, but his conscience knew it was anything but. Yet he still let his mouth open and the words tumbled out.  
  
“Maybe we should hang out with different people.”   
  
The other two looked at him like he’d just spoken Schwardenic. Seungcheol blinked, trying to put his thoughts into words.  
  
“I mean–like, it’s always us three, right? Maybe the fact that we’re _always_ together is–I dunno, limiting our social circle or whatever. Like, if people think we’re dating that means no chance at getting a girlfriend–or boyfriend.” As each word spilled out, he was aware of the shine in Jisoo’s eyes flaring out, of the smile fading off Jeonghan’s face.  
  
“So…you want us to stop hanging out and make new friends,” Jeonghan deadpanned, always straight to the point.  
  
Seungcheol nodded slowly. “I mean, it’s not like we won’t ever see each other, it's just a bit of a break.”  
  
“Is there someone you like, Seungcheol? Is that why you’re suggesting this all of a sudden?” Jeonghan’s words came out with a hint of accusation behind them.  
  
Seungcheol shook his head. “No, but we’ll never meet new people if others are afraid to approach us.”  
  
“But do we _need_ to meet other people?”  
  
“Well, do you want to never fall in love or experience being in a relationship?”  
  
Jisoo, who’d remained quiet–while not unusual, was definitely strange in the context of the situation–finally spoke up. “Is that what life is all about? Finding _‘the one’_?”  
  
The other two looked at him. “No, but unless you want to be lonely–” Seungcheol began.  
  
“But I’m not. I’m fine with just you two.”  
  
“Well eventually we’ll grow apart and meet someone who we’ll stay with for the rest of our lives, okay?” Seungcheol interrupted with an edge in his tone. “That’s just how life works.”  
  
Jisoo looked down, and Seungcheol almost felt bad. Jeonghan he could deal with, since the latter almost always brought it upon himself, but the youngest seemed to hold a bit of a more sensitive heart.  
  
“I guess you’re right,” he said in a voice barely above a whisper. He then turned on his heel and walked away.  
  
Jeonghan glared at Seungcheol. “Was this really necessary?”  
  
“I’m being realistic here–”  
  
“Well, be realistic somewhere else,” he snapped.  
  
“Maybe I will!”  
  
After a moment of angry silence the pair walked away from each other, Jeonghan in the direction of where Jisoo went and Seungcheol the opposite way.  
  
That was the beginning of a downwards spiral.  
  
  
  
“Jisoo,” Jeonghan pandered, trying to meet his gaze.   
  
“He’s right, you know,” the latter responded. “We can’t expect to be together forever.”  
  
“He’s an idiot,” Jeonghan retorted. “He always thinks too deeply about things that don’t matter.”  
  
“But they _do_ matter. One of us will eventually fall in love with someone. What then?”  
  
Jeonghan sighed. “That’s for the future to decide.”  
  
Jisoo frowned. “You know, maybe Seungcheol’s right. I’ll try and meet new people. You should, too.”  
  
  
In the end, the three of them began to do what once seemed impossible: drift apart.  
  
  
  
Seungcheol, always the first to do things that mattered most, was likewise the first to kiss someone, the first to sleep with someone. Jeonghan followed not long after. Jisoo, on the other hand, met new people but didn’t so much as hold someone’s hand. There was a wall somewhere, and it seemed like nobody could cross it.  
  
Today was a rare occasion where the three of them met up at one place. A dorm party to celebrate another year. Jisoo with his few friends, Seungcheol with his, and Jeonghan with his friends who seemed oddly close to him, who all also happened to be girls. They exchanged greetings and that was that.  
  
Where there were college students and partying, there was alcohol in abundance, and the smell was already perforating throughout the place. Seungcheol, who always had a one up on the other two, had an almost unrealistic alcoholic tolerance, which resulted in him falling asleep when his body couldn’t ingest any more. Jeonghan’s wasn’t bad either, but once fully intoxicated he became extremely clingy and whiny, babbling about who knows what. Jisoo rarely, if ever, drank, so his side effects were still left unknown.  
  
Seungcheol told himself to not press his nose into the other two’s business but he found his gaze wandering through the mobs of people. Like a magnet, he found Jeonghan and Jisoo, standing at opposite ends of the room, with different groups of people. It was like years of friendship had dissipated in an instant. Mindlessly, Seungcheol grabbed the nearest drink and took a swig. Fruit punch, but he knew it was already spiked so it didn’t matter. He decided to try his hand at beer pong, hoping his alcohol tolerance would give him an advantage.  
  
Jeonghan leaned against a counter, trying to keep his smile as real as possible despite the irritating music in the background and the cacophony of girls swarming around him. Their lingering touches on his body felt like poison and Jeonghan gripped his cup extra hard to prevent flinging it at someone’s head. He looked up aimlessly and found that Jisoo was on the other side of the room, laughing, but his eyes seemed to hold anything but humor in them. Wrenching his eyes away, Jeonghan took a long swig of the drink in his hands, savoring the slow burn of alcohol down his throat. This is what he needed to get through the night.  
  
Jisoo laughed at some dumb joke a friend made, doing his best to stay far from his two other friends. At one point he looked up and saw a girl getting quite touchy feely with Jeonghan and the urge to drink surfaced out of nowhere.  
  
“I’ll be right back.”   
  
He maneuvered through the crowd until he found what he was looking for. Vodka was never up his alley but he downed it like water, trying to keep the liquid from coming back up. It felt good–the numbing sensation at the back of his mind already at work. If Seungcheol or Jeonghan were here, they would laugh at how much of a lightweight he was. _No, don’t think of them_ , he reminded himself, even as their faces came to the forefront of his mind and tears burned in the back of his eyes. He blamed the urge to cry from his low alcohol tolerance as he kept drinking. Placing his cup down, he was aware of tears streaming down his face. He sobbed, sinking onto the ground, hidden by the waves of people.   
  
Not even five seconds had passed when he felt a strong tug on one arm followed by an even stronger tug on the other arm, and suddenly he was lifted off the ground and being dragged away from the activity behind him. He didn’t have the will to fight back so he let these strangers take him away. Maybe he’d be too drunk to remember what would happen afterwards, anyway.  
  
Suddenly the motion stopped and Jisoo tried to blink the tears out of his vision. He wanted to at least see the face of the people he’d be dealing with.  
  
“Jisoo? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” came the concerned voice of someone he was overly familiar with.  
  
“I swear to god if someone hurt you, I’ll kill them,” came the other roughly disguised worry-ridden voice next to him.  
  
Jisoo sniffed, pulling his hands out from their grip so he could wipe his tears away. “Nobody hurt me,” he mumbled. _Well, not directly._  
  
“So why are you crying? Jesus christ, I nearly had a fucking heart attack when you hit the ground,” Seungcheol demanded, as his habit was to translate his worry into impatience.  
  
“Same here. I thought–well, nothing good. Come on Jisoo, please talk to us.”  
  
“Yeah, because talking to you guys after all this time would be _so easy_ ,” Jisoo fired back, feeling tipsy. His words were slurred at the edges.   
  
“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?”  
  
“You,” Jisoo accused, pointing at Seungcheol, “started all this. Now you want to talk to me?”  
  
“Cut the bullshit, Jisoo. Of course I’d be worried about my best friend,” Seungcheol retorted.  
  
“Funny,” Jisoo slurred, “because last time I checked, we’d become nothing more than strangers.”  
  
Jeonghan reached out for Jisoo’s arm and pulled him closer. “Jisoo, stop. Seungcheol, he’s right in a way. You did start this. All so we could _"meet new people”_ and _“fall in love”._ But…is it really worth it?“ Jeonghan was aware that the alcohol was kicking in for him as well and he found himself pulling Jisoo until the latter’s body was pressed up against his from the side, shoulders and hips bumping.   
  
"Well, we _did_ end up going out with people–”  
  
“Yeah, and breaking up just as quickly. Dammit, Seungcheol! Just admit that things aren’t as simple as forgetting your fucking friends!”  
  
“I never forgot you guys!”  
  
“Jisoo and I think otherwise!”  
  
More tears fell from Jisoo’s eyes as he watched the exchange. In his unbalanced state of mind, he decided that he was definitely the crying type of drunk. Not unlike Jeonghan.   
  
“I miss you…” Jisoo croaked softly, pulling away from Jeonghan’s side to face them properly, albeit stumbling on his feet in the process.   
  
“I miss _us_ ,” Jeonghan affirmed, looking half drunk as well with nobody to lean on and resorting to bouncing on his heels.  
  
Seungcheol looked at them, a torn expression on his face.   
  
“You miss us too, don’t you?” Jeonghan added, reaching out for Jisoo again as he was closest, but nearly fell over instead and Seungcheol was quick to get him upright, holding him up by the shoulders.   
  
“I–”  
  
He was interrupted when Jeonghan cupped his face with both palms, looking at him intently. In a voice that was one octave lower than normal, he stated, “You know, I don’t mind sharing you with Jisoo.”  
  
The words took a moment to register into Seungcheol's head before he flinched and broke away from Jeonghan, eyes widening. “Wh–huh?”  
  
Jeonghan was staring at him with a wistful expression, despite the effects of alcohol. “I was thinking…the rumors…what if we made them a reality?”  
  
Jisoo, who resembled a sad kitten as he stared at the two, tried to step forward but lurched unsteadily instead, landing in Seungcheol’s arms. But instead of backing away, Jisoo stood up as best as he could, face to face with the latter.  
  
“I’m crazy about you two,” he whispered, trying to look at both Seungcheol and Jeonghan at once resulting in him nearly falling over again. “Nobody even…comes close to you guys…”  
  
Seungcheol wasn’t aware his heart was hammering in his chest until that moment, as Jisoo lazily moved away from him only to get pulled back against Jeonghan. “So you’re telling me…you wanna try– _this?_ ” He moved his hands around aimlessly, gesturing towards them. “For real?”  
  
Jeonghan rolled his eyes, clinging onto Jisoo even tighter. “I thought you were the sharp one here.”  
  
“I am! I’m just confused–and you’re both drunk as hell, I’m not sure you mean it–”  
  
“I’ve been in love with you two idiots for years!” Jisoo suddenly cried out, looking anguished. “Isn’t that right, Jeonghannie?”  
  
Jeonghan nodded. “Yeah, for years, Seungcheol!” He echoed Jisoo's painridden tone of voice.  
  
Seungcheol ran a hand through his hair, exhaling. When both turned against him he never knew what to do. For all his assertiveness, these two would always be his penchant. And as he stared at one watery eyed Jisoo and one fretful Jeonghan, he felt the curtains holding his resolve pull back and an urge present itself. He must be drunk as well, to be considering what the two of them were suggesting. But. “Fuck it," he murmured, straightening up. "So what do–”  
  
His words left his throat as Jeonghan spun Jisoo around and suddenly kissed him full on the mouth. A heartbeat later and Jeonghan was looking at Seungcheol with half lidded eyes. “Are you joining us or what?”  
  
If any of their friends were wondering where they’d disappeared off to, they never questioned it. And after a long night of partying, things died down and a door at the end of the hall creaked open with a flushed Seungcheol buttoning up his shirt and mumbling something along the lines of _“I can’t believe I just did that.”_  
  
  
Soon afterwards, it seemed like the golden trio was getting along even better than before their little disagreement. People noted the little touches here and there, the affectionate gazes, things that were absent before.   
  
Seungcheol prided himself in noticing things first. Yet it took his two drunk friends, one crying, for him to notice his own damn _feelings_ for them.  
  
  
Childhood friends often grow apart. But in their case, they grew into something more.  


 

**Author's Note:**

> Of course my ao3 debut is a jihancheol fic 
> 
> anyway, since I notice a lack of jihancheol (or polyamory in general) fics that are something other than pwp, I decided to give this a shot
> 
> I'll leave what happened between them to your imaginations~
> 
> btw I'm on AFF too with a lot more fics I'm just too lazy to transfer them onto this site


End file.
